A Beginner’s Guide to Borrowing Things From Dragons

In all recorded history, nothing has ever come back from a dragon the same temperature it went in.

People assume dragons are greedy. This is unfair. Dragons simply have a different understanding of the word borrow. In Old Dragon, it translates loosely to keep forever, near lava.

Things you may lend a dragon

• A sturdy iron pot
• Your full attention
• Anything you already wanted roasted

Things you may not lend a dragon

• A wooden ladder
• A wool sweater
• Your grill, which it will return spotless, because the grill will be gone

How to ask for your item back

Approach in daylight, and bring a gift. Compliment the hoard before you mention anything. Never count out loud. If the dragon offers to pay you in gold, accept it and leave, walking in a straight line, and do not look at the gold while you do so.

What to say if refused

Say nothing. Thank the dragon warmly. Buy a new grill. People who have tried to win this argument are now known, collectively, as the Crispy Cousins, and their descendants have a very strict policy on the matter.

We keep this advice near the kettle, printed on a black mug, and we recommend you do the same. Summer is coming, and so is your neighbor with the wings.