The Tragedy of Barnaby Pike

Barnaby Pike was warned by his mother, his schoolteacher and a sign.

It was the sort of Tuesday when nothing much was going to happen, and that is exactly how these stories begin. Barnaby had finished his chores. The fence at the end of the lane was low. On the far side of it stood a unicorn, head down, eating the last of the clover.

Now, Barnaby was the village champion at leapfrog. He had cleared two goats and a medium-sized uncle. He looked at that bowed head and at that long clean back and he thought the words that have ended a great many afternoons: How hard could it be?

What the sign said

The sign said NO LEAPING. It had been painted by Barnaby’s grandfather, who sat down very carefully at every meal for reasons he would not discuss.

What happened next

Unicorns, it turns out, look up.

We will not describe the next few seconds. It is enough to say that Barnaby traveled farther than he had planned, and in a different direction, and that he landed in the duck pond with a look of deep personal growth.

What it taught us

Barnaby made a full recovery, though he stood through the harvest supper. He later repainted the sign himself, in larger letters. It has been ignored ever since, by nearly everyone, which is how we stay in business.

The moral is printed on a very nice shirt.