How to Picnic Safely Near a Troll Bridge
Every great picnic spot has a catch, and the catch usually has a toll.
Troll bridges are built by very sensible engineers. That is why the grass beneath them is so soft and the shade so pleasant, and why generations of families have spread a blanket there only to hear a voice from under the third arch asking about the potato salad.
Know the toll
Most trolls will settle for one sandwich per person. Some charge by the deviled egg. Ask politely. Never haggle over pie, which they regard as a matter of honor.
What to pack
- Decoy sandwiches. Egg salad travels well and trolls are not fussy.
- A short riddle. Trolls enjoy an easy one. They become sullen if they lose.
- A loud bell. This is for telling your family that it is time to go.
- A sturdy bag. Ours says why on the side, so nobody can claim they were not informed.
If it goes badly
Leave the basket. Walk upstream at an even pace. Do not cross the bridge. You may return for the blanket on a Sunday, when trolls traditionally visit their mothers.
A final word
Trolls are, on the whole, reasonable neighbors. They simply believe that lunch near their home is a kind of rent. Honestly, that is hard to argue with. Keep your distance, keep the mustard close, and take a good tote.